Like water...

Bwoy told me that Warren Buffet said that the best investment you can ever make is in yourself. I thought about a lot the past few weeks. I thought about it as I pondered the fact that Bwoy and I may be doing long distance for the duration of his residency (6-7 years). I know I'm supposed to go join him wherever he is (for myself after 2 or 3 yrs), but the truth is finding a post-doc let along a professorship in my field is quite difficult. Chances are I won't have much of a choice of where I go geographically. Chances are our relationship may or may not last.

These thoughts contributed a lot to my new attitude of taking everything one day at a time and to the unsettling fact that I cannot plan my life. I can't plan it for another 10 years. By the time I graduate I will be almost thirty. After I'm thirty, I'll have to relocate for several years, moving around from post-doc to post-doc. By the time I ever get a professorship, I will be in my mid thirties. Sadly, I might still have to move in my late thirties if I don't get tenure. So really, by the time I get tenure, I will be in my early forties. This means I have at least another 15 years to go before I am settled in a place.

Scary, huh? Imagine how I must feel-- after all, I am the one going through this. It made me wonder a lot whether getting a PhD and going into academia is worth it, especially since I am in love with Bwoy and want us to stay together. At the same time, I thought about what Warren Buffet said, and the fact that I have only one life. After a lot of thought and discussion, I realized that- just as I would never want Bwoy to give up his career for me- he would never want me to do the same. If we stay together, I will make compromises, to be sure. I may decide in the end to not go into academia. I may simply try to get an industry job (which I'll be highly overqualified for) wherever he is. Even this, however, would take a while. After all, a PhD getting an industry job in my field simply is NOT a walk in the park. Whatever it is, whatever path I take, it will be hard, especially compared to my friends who are getting MDs, JDs, or MBAs. So what's the point of stressing so much about the future, a future where everything is up in the air? The best thing to do is keep my head down, work hard, enjoy the moment, and flow along with life- like water.

Easier said than done. But don't knock me for trying.