I saw the movie last night with a friend of mine who was actually a production assistant on set. We drove all the way out to Long Island to see the movie! And then sat through 3.5 hours of it. As the closing credits came onscreen (and we both yelped when we saw her name on the credits), I realized I liked the movie. I mean, the movie was actually about infidelity- they actually make Bollywood movies on infidelity?? Not only that, the ending was unexpected. In short, it actually made me think. Which pretty much never happens when I watch a typical Bollywood movie that my parents bring home from the local Indian grocery store.
***spoiler alert below***
The movie is about two married couples, both with somewhat unhappy marriages. Each couple has its loser half and its winner half.
Dev and Rhea: Rhea is a succesful editor (winner), Dev is an injured soccer player who ends up becoming a little league soccer coach/housedad (loser) .
Rishi and Maya: Rishi is a succesful businessman (winner) and Maya is a frigid school teacher (loser).
The winners (the editor and businessman) love their loser spouses, but the losers (the soccer coach and teacher) don't love them back- and don't even seem to love themselves. In the movie, the losers Dev and Maya meet each other and fall in love amid a lot of guilt. As Dev later says, it just happens and they end up making each other's incomplete lives complete. He also says that love is a lot of times about circumstance.
**********
Anyway, Dev's words of wisdom are pretty much why I liked the movie.
I liked the idea that two incomplete people, at loss with the world and at loss with themselves, could meet and somehow fulfill the emptiness in each other's lives. I like that two unlikeable characters, unpopular and morose, could find peace in each other. The director didn't really make the two characters out to be super likeable- they were dull, full of flaws, cynical. Except with each other of course. That's a beautiful thought. Sometimes one gets sick of hearing about the ideal of successful pple finding love. What about the losers? They deserve love as well.
I also like the idea that love is about circumstance. That is so true. People fall in love at different stages in their life. I bet if these two characters had met at a time in their life when they were happy, they may not have fallen in love.
And finally, I like the idea that the movie portrayed marriage as a work in progress. It takes hard work. And it's never perfect. And I guess, neither is love.
Saturday
This week in August
Sometimes when I have no angry opinions to spew out, I simply like to write about my week. It turns ot to be more interesting, at least to me. It's nice to review your week and see how calm and peaceful (or not- whatever rocks your boat) your life is.
Sunday:
- In the morning, I went to the gym.
- Came back sweaty, watched the Food Network, and uber-perky Rachel Ray. I can't believe she is getting her own talk show. It's so American for the public to fall in love with a dimply, short woman with a wide smile and giggling demeanor.
- In the afternoon I went to visit my parents in the Bx, fell asleep in my old room, stuffed myself with homecooked food- fish, fried cabbage, rice, and lentils.
Monday:
- Left the Bx, went to The Office around 730am, was extremely productive at work.
- Came home to my apt, ate a peanutbutter and jelly sandwich for dinner. Watched Law and Order. Oh yum.
Tuesday:
- Went to The Office, not so productive this time.
- Spent the day in my cubicle making appointments with top doctors before I leave the company.
- Also spent some of the day drafting my resignation letter. Short and sweet, although maybe overly sweet with the whole, "Thank you for the opportunity (i.e., I was desperate for a job) to work (i.e., slave) in this wonderful (i.e., presitigous and cutthroat) company."
- Went shopping after work, did not buy anything, came home and slept.
Wednesday:
- Ran 2.5 miles in the morning, went to The Office, another unproductive day. Did I mention my boss is out of town this for a few days?
- Spent the day on finishing up a report, except I had major writer's block, if you can call it "writing."
- Also spent the day looking for cool cellphones in the Verizon plan (just changed my plan).
- After work, hopped on the subway to Brooklyn to the Verizon store, and bought a cool Nokia candybar phone. Very girly and small. Just like me.
- Crashed at my aunt's place in Bklyn.
Thursday:
- Woke up, attempted to do some work at The Office.
- Ended up going to lunch with a friend who is still in college, and looking up investing options (index funds? CDs? Too many options).
- After work, had dinner with Bwoy.
- After dinner, went with a friend to a 1030 pm slam concert on the West Side, in a tiny theatre with a lot of urban hippies. These poets are amazing; people who have a way with words awe me. One of the poets was my friend's boyfriend; met him briefly- very urban hippie, wore a cool jazz hat while he talked to me. He acted sort of girly, which makes sense because my friend is pretty stoic. Caught up briefly with said friend, who I've kept in touch with, but literally have not seen physically in over a year.
- Crashed at Bwoy's place.
Friday:
- Woke up, resolved to do actual work.
- Did some work in The Office! All my team members called me up, asking me why I was throwing work at them at 3pm on a Friday afternoon. I just laughed and cajoled them into doing it- and it worked. Wow.
- After work, had dinner with an old friend of mine, saw Lady in the Water. I liked the movie! I think it's cool that Shymalan had the guts to do this... who makes up a fairy tale and makes a movie out of it? Some parts of it was very tongue-in-cheek too. Cute.
- My friend and I had Ben and Jerry's afterwards, took a company car back to my apt. Chatted with driver while we drove back; apparently, he used to work in the grocery store near me as a meat manager!
- FINALLY slept in my own apt!
Saturday:
Well, that's today.
- Woke up around 11 by Bwoy, who called me from Chicago - he's at a family reunion for the wknd. He misses me! That's always nice to know
- For breakfast, drank milk, ate some nuts and pepperoni, and finished off with some grapes.
- Will now go running, clean the filth in my apt, go to The Office to make up for my laziness, and this evening go to a very lefty art show that shows kinky videos and has free pasta.
- After show, plan to stop by The Office for a little more work before dragging myself to a house party in the East Village.
Sunday:
- In the morning, I went to the gym.
- Came back sweaty, watched the Food Network, and uber-perky Rachel Ray. I can't believe she is getting her own talk show. It's so American for the public to fall in love with a dimply, short woman with a wide smile and giggling demeanor.
- In the afternoon I went to visit my parents in the Bx, fell asleep in my old room, stuffed myself with homecooked food- fish, fried cabbage, rice, and lentils.
Monday:
- Left the Bx, went to The Office around 730am, was extremely productive at work.
- Came home to my apt, ate a peanutbutter and jelly sandwich for dinner. Watched Law and Order. Oh yum.
Tuesday:
- Went to The Office, not so productive this time.
- Spent the day in my cubicle making appointments with top doctors before I leave the company.
- Also spent some of the day drafting my resignation letter. Short and sweet, although maybe overly sweet with the whole, "Thank you for the opportunity (i.e., I was desperate for a job) to work (i.e., slave) in this wonderful (i.e., presitigous and cutthroat) company."
- Went shopping after work, did not buy anything, came home and slept.
Wednesday:
- Ran 2.5 miles in the morning, went to The Office, another unproductive day. Did I mention my boss is out of town this for a few days?
- Spent the day on finishing up a report, except I had major writer's block, if you can call it "writing."
- Also spent the day looking for cool cellphones in the Verizon plan (just changed my plan).
- After work, hopped on the subway to Brooklyn to the Verizon store, and bought a cool Nokia candybar phone. Very girly and small. Just like me.
- Crashed at my aunt's place in Bklyn.
Thursday:
- Woke up, attempted to do some work at The Office.
- Ended up going to lunch with a friend who is still in college, and looking up investing options (index funds? CDs? Too many options).
- After work, had dinner with Bwoy.
- After dinner, went with a friend to a 1030 pm slam concert on the West Side, in a tiny theatre with a lot of urban hippies. These poets are amazing; people who have a way with words awe me. One of the poets was my friend's boyfriend; met him briefly- very urban hippie, wore a cool jazz hat while he talked to me. He acted sort of girly, which makes sense because my friend is pretty stoic. Caught up briefly with said friend, who I've kept in touch with, but literally have not seen physically in over a year.
- Crashed at Bwoy's place.
Friday:
- Woke up, resolved to do actual work.
- Did some work in The Office! All my team members called me up, asking me why I was throwing work at them at 3pm on a Friday afternoon. I just laughed and cajoled them into doing it- and it worked. Wow.
- After work, had dinner with an old friend of mine, saw Lady in the Water. I liked the movie! I think it's cool that Shymalan had the guts to do this... who makes up a fairy tale and makes a movie out of it? Some parts of it was very tongue-in-cheek too. Cute.
- My friend and I had Ben and Jerry's afterwards, took a company car back to my apt. Chatted with driver while we drove back; apparently, he used to work in the grocery store near me as a meat manager!
- FINALLY slept in my own apt!
Saturday:
Well, that's today.
- Woke up around 11 by Bwoy, who called me from Chicago - he's at a family reunion for the wknd. He misses me! That's always nice to know
- For breakfast, drank milk, ate some nuts and pepperoni, and finished off with some grapes.
- Will now go running, clean the filth in my apt, go to The Office to make up for my laziness, and this evening go to a very lefty art show that shows kinky videos and has free pasta.
- After show, plan to stop by The Office for a little more work before dragging myself to a house party in the East Village.
Wednesday
Song titles
"I don't know what I meant by that!"
or
"Why are you making a big deal out of this?"
or
"I don't understand what you want me to do."
Popular refrains from Bwoy. I guess they all mean the same thing.
=P
or
"Why are you making a big deal out of this?"
or
"I don't understand what you want me to do."
Popular refrains from Bwoy. I guess they all mean the same thing.
=P
Sunday
Being judgemental
For some reason- maybe because a lot of my friends are twenty-something yr olds- I end up in a lot of conversations that inevitably climax to this:
Friend: Stop judging me, NP.
NP: Woah woah, wait a sec---
or
Friend: I think you're being a little judgemental, NP.
NP: What? What? What do you mean? All I'm saying is--
or
Friend: I'm so different.
NP: You're special, chica.
Friend: I'm so tired of being judged. *SIGH*
NP: (thinking) is she talking about me?
A lot of times this "judging" talk comes from my brown girlfriends who are "different-" i.e., they're not an engineer, consultant, lawyer, or doctor. Or they're not a typical "good indian girl" who projects an image of being virtuous, heterosexual, dates only good indian boys, speaks her parent's language fluently, and fulfills the checklist of name brand colleges and jobs. What is odd is that I've had sessions with these girls where they whine about being judged, and then proceed to judge everyone who judges them (in a very, might I add, viscous manner).
What makes it doubly odd is the whole self-centeredness of it all. I mean, here is my friend, whining about being "judged" by other women, and basically pitying the fact that she is so special and different. Hell0? What am I? Your douchebag? I mean, I'm standing right here, listening to this crap and being sympathetic and all the while, I can feel the subtle insult of the whole conversation. And of course, it inevitably climaxes to an outright slap in the face when she accuses me of being judgemental. Sheesh. Yeah, I am judgemental. But you don't want to know what I'm thinking at this point.
It's human nature to judge. What makes someone a mean human is when they refuse to realize their judgement is superficial and subject to change. For example, I'll have conversations like this:
NP: Lola's friend is cool; let me introduce you to him.
Friend: Eh, he's kinda sketchy.
NP: But you didn't talk to him.
Friend: I can just tell he's sketchy. He has that... sketchy look.
NP: What do you mean?
Friend: NP, the dude is wearing brown shoes with black pants.
NP: And that makes him sketchy?
Friend (in disbelief): Yeah!!
My friends will judge a guy based on stupid superficial things. I don't think they're bad people because of it. What makes me think that they're stupid is when they don't give the guy a chance; in other words, they are not flexible enough to change their judgements.
So that's why all my friends think I'm judgemental.
- Because while they stroke each other's arms, and softly say comforting words like, "I would never judge you," I stay silent.
- When they preface confessions with, "Okay don't judge me, when I tell you this, NP," I stay silent.
- Because when they go off on their tirades against the "bitches who always judge me," and "they're boring and lame anyway," I stay somewhat silent.
Because I do judge. But I'm nice enough to change my judgements, and I'm nice enough to not really let them get in my way. I wouldn't be friends with you otherwise.
Friend: Stop judging me, NP.
NP: Woah woah, wait a sec---
or
Friend: I think you're being a little judgemental, NP.
NP: What? What? What do you mean? All I'm saying is--
or
Friend: I'm so different.
NP: You're special, chica.
Friend: I'm so tired of being judged. *SIGH*
NP: (thinking) is she talking about me?
A lot of times this "judging" talk comes from my brown girlfriends who are "different-" i.e., they're not an engineer, consultant, lawyer, or doctor. Or they're not a typical "good indian girl" who projects an image of being virtuous, heterosexual, dates only good indian boys, speaks her parent's language fluently, and fulfills the checklist of name brand colleges and jobs. What is odd is that I've had sessions with these girls where they whine about being judged, and then proceed to judge everyone who judges them (in a very, might I add, viscous manner).
What makes it doubly odd is the whole self-centeredness of it all. I mean, here is my friend, whining about being "judged" by other women, and basically pitying the fact that she is so special and different. Hell0? What am I? Your douchebag? I mean, I'm standing right here, listening to this crap and being sympathetic and all the while, I can feel the subtle insult of the whole conversation. And of course, it inevitably climaxes to an outright slap in the face when she accuses me of being judgemental. Sheesh. Yeah, I am judgemental. But you don't want to know what I'm thinking at this point.
It's human nature to judge. What makes someone a mean human is when they refuse to realize their judgement is superficial and subject to change. For example, I'll have conversations like this:
NP: Lola's friend is cool; let me introduce you to him.
Friend: Eh, he's kinda sketchy.
NP: But you didn't talk to him.
Friend: I can just tell he's sketchy. He has that... sketchy look.
NP: What do you mean?
Friend: NP, the dude is wearing brown shoes with black pants.
NP: And that makes him sketchy?
Friend (in disbelief): Yeah!!
My friends will judge a guy based on stupid superficial things. I don't think they're bad people because of it. What makes me think that they're stupid is when they don't give the guy a chance; in other words, they are not flexible enough to change their judgements.
So that's why all my friends think I'm judgemental.
- Because while they stroke each other's arms, and softly say comforting words like, "I would never judge you," I stay silent.
- When they preface confessions with, "Okay don't judge me, when I tell you this, NP," I stay silent.
- Because when they go off on their tirades against the "bitches who always judge me," and "they're boring and lame anyway," I stay somewhat silent.
Because I do judge. But I'm nice enough to change my judgements, and I'm nice enough to not really let them get in my way. I wouldn't be friends with you otherwise.
Friday
What I drank last week
I just thought I'd make a list to see where all my $$$ goes.
Sunday:
- 2 shots of Bacardi Gold Rum in my apartment, by myself
- A half cup of Bacardi Gold Rum with leftover Coke from December, by myself
(disclaimer: I was having a rough day)
Monday:
- A glass of Merlot with my mother.
- My mother's glass of Merlot that she never quite finished
Wednesday:
- A Lime Margarita with Depressed Friend. (I was trying to make him feel better)
- A second Lime Margarita with Depressed Friend. (Trying to make myself feel better at this point)
Thursday:
- A $25 Mango Mojito with Coworkers
Friday:
- A $20 Caparainha with Visiting From Out of Town Friends
- A Blue Hawaiian with Visiting From Out of Town Friends
Saturday:
- A glass of cheap red wine at dinner with Drunk Friend
- Another glass of cheap red wine at dinner with Drunk Friend
- Captain Morgan's and Coke at bar with Drunk Friend and a set of Sober Friends
- Cosmopolitan at bar with all Drunk FriendS
Sunday:
- 2 shots of Bacardi Gold Rum in my apartment, by myself
- A half cup of Bacardi Gold Rum with leftover Coke from December, by myself
(disclaimer: I was having a rough day)
Monday:
- A glass of Merlot with my mother.
- My mother's glass of Merlot that she never quite finished
Wednesday:
- A Lime Margarita with Depressed Friend. (I was trying to make him feel better)
- A second Lime Margarita with Depressed Friend. (Trying to make myself feel better at this point)
Thursday:
- A $25 Mango Mojito with Coworkers
Friday:
- A $20 Caparainha with Visiting From Out of Town Friends
- A Blue Hawaiian with Visiting From Out of Town Friends
Saturday:
- A glass of cheap red wine at dinner with Drunk Friend
- Another glass of cheap red wine at dinner with Drunk Friend
- Captain Morgan's and Coke at bar with Drunk Friend and a set of Sober Friends
- Cosmopolitan at bar with all Drunk FriendS
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