Sex and the City Review

So I laughed to the bank all through the movie. As a disclaimer, Sex and the City for me was like that self-centered friend who you would never trust with any secret, could never take seriously because half the time she would lie and exaggerate her beauty and charms to cover up her own insecurities, but was supremely fun to go out with and get trashed. At the end of the night, you might not spill any secrets to her, you might not even count on her to hold your hair while you were puking, but you could count on you and her bumping and grinding on table in clubs, while jumping off periodically to down shots. Yeah, that kind of friend. Don’t pretend you don’t have one.

So here is my breakdown:

1) FASHION: yes, the most important element to me. As usual, Carrie’s outfits were… peculiar at best. Aside from wearing black and red thigh high socks to accentuate her bony legs, she committed other travesties, such as wearing a ridiculous gazillion dollar coat while shopping at Duane Reade, and wearing a dead bird in her hair as part of her wedding outfit. Yes, a dead bird. It topped off an otherwise ridiculous looking bridal ground that looked like a cross between Cinderella’s gown and one of those big cotton candy tubs you get at the carnival. I don’t get poofy wedding gowns, and I guess I never will. Of course, people everywhere are like, wow did you see that Vivienne Westwood bridal gown, isn’t it amazing? I think sometimes people confuse labels with taste. The other outfits were blah at best. Nothing memorable, except for Samantha and Charlotte’s dresses, and only because they were so in tune with the characters, sexy, and sweet, respectively. I especially am partial to Charlotte, because I think she is the prettiest cast member of them all. Poor Miranda’s hair looked like someone ran over Bozo the Clown’s red wig, and then proceeded to plop it onto her head. Terrible terrible haircut. And what was up with her earrings? Any larger and her head would topple off.

2) LOVE: This was stupid. So Miranda’s man and Carrie’s man commit sins which cause the women to act all cuckoo, hitting them, screaming shrilly, and refusing to even hear their explanations. What makes it all funny is that Big didn’t even commit a really big sin, but Carrie immediately cuts him, his explanations, and his apologies off, thus wasting almost a year of her like thinking and bemoaning, “Why?? Why? Why did he do this to me?” If she hadn’t thrown her silly bejeweled cell phone into the Gulf of Mexico in a fit of 5 yr-old rage, maybe she could have listened to his 1,001 messages and found out six months earlier. Meanwhile, Miranda decides to take her man back after he cheats on her, which is so unlike her character on the series, I couldn’t even get my head around it. Huh? Is that love? Tempestuous, illogical, and in the end, all wrapped up awkwardly with a bow? It didn’t help that the movie gave very little explanation of how Carrie went from “I hate you, Big,” to “I love you, Big” and how Miranda went from cuckolded spouse to guilty spouse. What did she do wrong to feel guilty about?

The rest of the movie was filled with banalities about love, like people moving to NY for love. Who moves to NY for love? It’s called Paris, you idiots.

3) APPETIZERS: Really only one stood out, Jennifer Hudson, who was an attempt of the show to be “diverse.” Really she turned out to be somewhat of a black girlfriend who says, “you go, girl!” and saves and services the hapless Carrie. That is SO NOT stereotypical.

4) CITY: As usual, lily white. All people of color were poor—as in Chinatown, where Miranda is so lost she starts following white people, screaming “White guy with a baby! Let’s follow him.” Omg, Who does that? My friend and I both cringed. It’s not like the street signs are in Chinese! Geez. All people of service were usually a shade darker than tan, doormen, taxicab drivers, servants. Seriously, I grew up in NY and lived in NY for quite a while. That’s NOT what I know.