Dancing Dilemna

I like to dance. I dance at clubs, on tables at clubs, on bars, in the shower, in my room alone, everywhere. And I know how to dance. I grew up dancing, was trained in several types. I do my own thing, too.
- I'm not one of those girls who get up, turn around, and proceed to spend a full hour wiggling their ass at the audience.
- I'm not on of those women who get really drunk and proceed to make out with anonther women on stage, humping their glass or whatnot, undressing sloppily.
- I'm not one of those gals who are pushed on stage by a group of giggling girls, after much fake protestation ("you go up! no, you go up! no *giggle* YOU go up!"), blinking in the spotlight.

I go up willingly, and drag other pple up with me. And I dance. No flashing, no humping, just something close to joy, and definitely fun.

Anyway, that said, I like to dance but get somewhat discomfited when people say things to me. A couple of weeks ago I was in LA and my friends and I decided to push some drunk (wiggling ass type of pple) out of the way, and jumped on the pedestal to dance. We had a good time. One of my friends even took off her shoes to do some breakdancing moves. Anyway, we were going all out, dancing and laughing, when I noticed random guys taking pictures of me dancing. That made me uncomfortable. This kind of attention when I start dancing has happened before. Last year, a bouncer at a club told me I did a good job when I jumped on the tables and started wagging my head to the beat; but I didn't feel bad then, because I felt like the bouncer wasn't trying to hit on me or anything (plus, he told me I should consider being a paid dancer for the club or in general).

Last wknd when I went dancing, we were at a club with a pole. I don't know how to pole dance, so I just danced in front of the pole and ocassionally grabbed the pole and leaned away from it. I couldn't move that much anyway, since I had my huge tote bag in one hand and a drink in the other while I was shimmying. I was wearing a short-sleeved bright orange sweater with jeans. No cleavage, no leg, nothing. Just me shimmying and getting all my stress out by dancing. While I was doing my moves, a guy actually came up to me and said, "Hey, I just want you to know you look supersexy on the pole." My facial reaction must have startled him, because he quickly said, "I meant that as a compliment, by the way." Needless to say, I quickly got off and felt something like confusion and shame. As we were leaving the club, another guy tapped me on the shoulder and said, smilingly, "Hey! No more dancing?"

So I thought about it. Should I feel bad about having a good time? Did I "degrade" myself? I didn;t think I did... I've seen pics of myself dancing and I look like a cross between a rapper and Shakira, nodding my head and wiggling my hips , a slim sillhouette moving to the beat. No exposed nipples or ass, no girl on boy action, no girl on girl action, no girl on inanimate object action. Just me... dancing. I had a good time. So why was I so embarassed when people complimented me? I suppose I've never thought of myself as sexy, and the prude in me automatically thinks something is wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with it. If that's what I am, so be it. I haven't degraded myself in any way, in my opinion, or attempted to get anyone's attention. I am just out to have a good time.

Hmmm. Must think about it some more.