He's always like, "What?? What are you smiling about? What's so funny?"
I flash him my smug smile.
It's one of the few things I actually "get" and he doesn't. Makes me feel smart and privy to a whole new world of petty politics, tight skirts, synergy, and kissing of well toned asses.
Okay, I lied. He gets it too.
Damn.
Anyway, I used to wonder why everybody thought Dilbert was funny. One of my coworkers has a Dilbert calendar on her desk and everytime she tears off a comic to read to me, we crack up.
Like when Asok asks Wally to teach him to "work smarter, not harder."
Haha. I tried that a couple of times. Problem is I am the most junior person on staff so it looks pretty silly when I actually look serious and angry about a document. When that happens, Little Boss usually says, "Oh my God, are you okay??"
I pause, look dramatically up at her with a furrowed brow, "I'm sorry, did you say something?"
She says, "It's just you look so stressed out--Oh! There's my memo! (as she takes the paper from my clenched hand) Thanks! Yeah, um, drink some tea... you look so..."
Little Boss drifts off, forgetting about my sickness, reading her precious memo in hand.
I drift back to my cubicle, empty-handed, feeling quite unloved.
Today on the TV show "The Office" was was an episode about filing complaints. I wish I could file complaints. Here's MY list of complaints:
- 0900. People gathering around my cubicle to talk in an unrelated convo, interruping my morning reverie.
-0915. Over the mp3s I am now blasting into my ears to drown out their voices, I can still hear Miss Prissy's gasping laughs (which, I swear, sounds like she's choking and dying rather than chuckling), and screaming, "Naughty, Naughty!!" to clients. Who SAYS that to clients???
-1100. Desperate for peace of mind, I retreat to the kitchen to salvage yesterday's leftover tiramisu cake. Open fridge door. Where the hell is all the food??
-1105. Uh oh. Looks like Big Boss got tired of rotting food in the fridge and decided to clean out the fridge, only to throw MY non-rotting food away.
-1200. At staff meeting, people WASTING precious billable hours trying to figure out what shade of taupe the bathroom walls should be. I think to myself, *splatter them with a shade of urine.*
Yes, I'd love to file all my complaints. In fact, I was prepared to say some of my complaints at my annual review. Unfortunately, my review was very positive. Seeing Big Boss and Little Boss's happy faces beaming back at me made me feel guilty and I just COULDN'T muster up the courage to say something petty like, "I hate it when people forgets to put the coffeepot under the breakfast rack!"
Trust me, normally I am not that anal. Or evil. I think.
*sigh*
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