How I avoid my boss...

by transforming myself into a bat. Seriously. I'll attune my ears to the noisy heels of the Big Wig strutting down the hall from the corner office, the impending sound of doom ready to deliver a fresh batch of criticism. The criticism often sounds like. "What are you DOING, NP? This design makes absolutely no sense!!" Dude, saying something has no logic is like the harshest insult you can give to an engineer.

Usually when I hear the *clickety-click* of the heels, I'll shuffle my papers around like I'm really busy and concerned about something, while Big Boss passes.

Sometimes, if I'm REALLY desperate, I'll pick up the phone and call someone at the EXACT moment the Big Wig walks by my cubicle to avoid conversing with her! My convo would go like this:

NP picks up phone and dials Bwoy.

*ring, ring*

B (usually sleepily): Hello?

NP (whispering): Hello? Hello?

B: NP?

NP: Hi! Long time no speak, buddy! How've you been?!

[Big Wig walks by in...three...]

B: Didn't we talk last---

NP: Yeah? Well, I'll keep it quick! Just wanted to let you know that I got your client memo, so I'm going to add it in. Nice work.

[.... two...]

B: Huh?

NP: Hahahaha!!!! Niiiiiiice!

[...one....]

B: Huh??

NP: Sounds good! Alrighty then, talk to you later!

B: But wai--

NP: Okay, bye-bye!!

*click*

NP hangs up, breathes a sigh of relief, and continues in her little cubicle world.

NP (wiping the beads of sweat): Hehe.